How long will it take until I bond with my step-daughter?

It's a choice, an act of will. You will have to choose to bond with this child. It's easier with a biological child but it's still a choice of free will. Love, by the way, is also a proactive choice and one of free will. The issues you are attempting to address require some real time help from a professional counselor. The issues are complex and not easily addressed here.